His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
