You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
