I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
In America we eat man semen.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
