you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
