I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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