4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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