i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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