So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
