And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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