too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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