Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
