I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
