i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He did a backflip because drugs
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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