tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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