he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
