The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
