Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
