Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
