I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
