I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
