TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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