too bad you live with your parents still
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize