Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
