I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
