i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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