Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
