Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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