He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
