He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
