I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
