WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
