one two three fourrrrnication!
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
