I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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