covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
