Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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