Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
