conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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