My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
