I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he shaved USA in his pubs
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize