i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He felt like a one man threesome
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
