Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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