So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
