I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
