Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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