I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
