I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
