Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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