Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
