A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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