i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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