I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
