yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
