When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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