She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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