If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
