Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
