NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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