There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
