K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
