dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
