Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
