From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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