Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
