Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
