Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
