i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
