I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Mom said you looked used
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
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