He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
