just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
