he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
