I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
