I could have mohawked her pubes.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
