how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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