She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
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